31 October 2007
The reasons are many, and often include my graduate status, the fact that I'm classed as dependent on my parents (but aren't), and the fact that the student loan company have pulled some of my funding from the last academic year.
So, as much as it pains me to do so... I'm asking for your help. I know I'm not a charity case, but I've come too far to give up now.
The access to learning fund has rejected me, along with my university hardship fund. The bank won't give me a career development loan, so basically I'm screwed.
My one last remaining nerve is about to give in, and I'm inclined to let it.
Please please please, can you even spare me £1??
29 October 2007
This morning I was due to be on placement from 08.00. Not especially unusual, we have the odd placement day here and there.
I appear to have a karmic alarm clock, which despite being set did not go off this morning. Consequently I woke up at 08.38 feeling like death warmed over. I have a pounding headache and feel generally shite. Therefore I have phoned in sick and declared today a duvet and sanctity day.
My wonderful housemates bought be a spa voucher for my birthday, so I have called ahead and I'm going to get a massage this afternoon. One hour fifteen minutes of pure relaxation (and probable sleep). I'm a bit wary about getting Nekked, but it will be worth it in the end.
Tonight, shock horror, I plan to have a night in (or at least a night not at work/society stuff).
I was hellishly grumpy last night after I discovered that someone on our society committee had been bitching about the organisation of things this year. In large, something which I mainly organise. Realistically, I don't have time to do this role anyway, so I shouldn't be bothered when someone stresses at me. However, the fact that this was done while I wasn't there has annoyed me. Due to the stressful nature of my life at the moment, I've become very efficient at time management. Organising stuff is becoming second nature, and when I slog my guts out for something I find it a very bitter pill to swallow.
Maybe I should just resign and let them sort themselves out. Goodness knows, I don't need the stress at the moment.
There's no wonder I've lost 7lbs in weight in the last 7 days is there....
28 October 2007
Friday 19.00 - Saturday 07.30 Hospital. Work a night shift on a medical ward. 1.5 hour sleep break but very little sleeping actually done. More ceiling staring to be honest.
Saturday 07.30 - 09.00. Shower, internet and attempt to sleep.
09.57 text message from a friend from a Uni society. Have I arranged something for today's event? Text back saying yes. Silently cursing.
10.07 phone call from another society member asking similar questions. Explain that I need sleep before [big society event] but still kept on phone for too long.
10.15 go back to sleep.
10.50 woken up by doorbell and housemates. Supermarket home delivery has arrived. Was planning on it arriving after 11 (as requested). Damn them for being prompt. Thank them for giving me a free energy saving lightbulb. Convient since our hall bulb had gone. Unpack shopping and abandon bed.
11.40 take phone call from yet another society member asking something. Answer affirmatively and agree that I will 'be there shortly after 12'.
12.20 arrive at society event. Set everything up and greet members.
13.00 - 16.00 hold huge event which goes well. Feeling annoyingly hyperactive.
16.15 cycle home in order to change clothes for bar shift. Change outfit 4 times before getting confirmation from my housemate.
17.05 arrive at work (late).
17.06 - 23.30 serve beer. Serve ++++ beer.
23.30 go to student union with friends. Alleged social night for society.
00.30 Give in and go home. Too tired after approx 42 hours without proper sleep.
somewhere in the middle forget to turn mobile phone clock back and alarm goes off an hour early. Hence not waking properly.
08.00 Sunday get up, put washing out and go on a society training day.
15.45 arrive home, cook.
19.30 go to student union to work.
22.30 come home, work quiet.
00.08 contemplate bed.
26 October 2007
22 October 2007
Where Does Your Beauty Lie?
Your Beauty lies in Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and never what anyone expects. You appearance and your personality are two opposite things. Even your appearance sends different signals to different people. To some you may look innocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious and intimidating at the same time. No one ever knows what to expect with you. You are a little bit of everything all mixed together. You can be watching the football game with the guys one minute and the next out shopping at the mall. You seem to be almost a different person every time you meet someone, but at the same time you know exactly who you are and there is always that one thing that makes you you. You enjoy keeping people guessing and people love how completely unpredictable you are.
Some Things That Represent You:
Element:Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color: Dark Tones, Light Tones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette Expression:Half-smile
Gemstone:Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon, Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair Color: Red Eye Color:Brown
Quote:"Appearances can be deceiving."
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20 October 2007
I've spent today in Scarborough in the sun and spending early birthday money.
Best of luck to the English rugby team and Lewis Hamilton tomorrow
10 October 2007
Things are proving just a little bit too stressful for me at the moment, and I'm finding it easier to bury my head in the sand and ignore them for a while.
Mind you, I guess working 2 jobs (one of them full time) while trying to be a full time medical student and doing a large amount of volunteer work will do that to you.
Also, I guess the impending doom of turning 24 might not be helping. Here's hoping October is a slow month....
01 October 2007
In fact, I was so grotty today that I picked a fight with a little old lady. She started it to be fair. Going around hitting my bike because it's in your way won't get you very far. Perhaps saying 'excuse me' would?
Anyway, I digress.
I'm getting a little fazed by the whole 'auxiliary' thing. I'm getting frustrated by the physical aspect of it all.
My shoulders have been pulled, and are now regularly aching and spasming. I've been punched, kicked, spat at, scratched, had my hair and uniform pulled, and generally been abused. All of this by people over the age of 65.
I sometimes feel we're failing the patients. I feel rough and cruel, and almost inhuman with it all sometimes. I do things that the patients are confused about, mainly down to personal hygiene. But I feel I'm being a bully. I guess it all comes down to mental competence at the end of the day.
That, and I'm tired.