30 April 2007
I have to return to Yorkshire tomorrow afternoon to face the family and the ensuing war, which should be a barrel of laughs...
When I come back I will return to normal blogging, starting with my recent appraisal and how my OSCE went....
26 April 2007
My poor father has fallen apart having lost his mother, and couldn't speak to me between choking back tears.
Hence today has been written off completely and I intend to crawl back into bed now.
I was meant to be on a placement day today, but I simply couldn't face it, so I've taken the day off.
Unfortunately I'm a selfish bitch, and can't help thinking that if I'd got off my arse when I was at home I could have gone around and seen her. We lived a mere 2 minutes walk from her, and now I can't see her anymore.
My last memory is of the family wedding I attended, looking after her and keeping her company when no-one else seemed to want to.
Unfortunately my mind is full of unanswered questions, and I feel selfish for wanting a post-mortem so that I can get some answers.
Worse still, from the environment I work and study in, in my mind I can't help but see her laid out, or in a fridge somewhere. Worried that her hair is a mess, or that someone hasn't held her hand or stroked her face. Worse still no-one was with her and no-one said goodbye.
Especially not me.
Sometimes it just really messes you up.
24 April 2007
It's with sadness I've removed some redundant links, but with joy that I add some new ones. Feel free to take a look.
22 April 2007
...but I can't.
So you're just going to have to take my word for it that I'm smiling. On the inside and the outside at the moment.
The weather is good, work was fun yesterday in the great outdoors and I went to an amazing event last night.
The rest of the university has returned, and life is back pretty much as it was before Easter break - but minus the thunderclouds.
How long the good mood will last I do not know.
Just pray for sunshine....
20 April 2007
What better way to feed myself on a Friday night before heading off to bed for a long day and an early start tomorrow morning.
Plus, I now have 2 slices of garlic bread pizza for breakfast.
Which is of course, the only acceptable way to live as a student.
New start, new leaf, new term.
Plus I had my first monthly check up after starting on fluoxetine. I went in smiling and chirpy and left smiling and chirpy. No tears, no depressive remarks, low on the sarcasm. Maybe things actually are starting to work - or maybe it's just because I've been at home for a month.....
I'm taking today off and declaring a duvet day, as I have a hellishly busy weekend ahead of me.
Starting with the mud rolling tomorrow..... Just pray the good weather holds out for the sake of my mood and my feet (I hate getting stuck in bogs at work....)
16 April 2007
I have strapped them together with some bandage I found in my first aid kit, and now they hurt even more.
Thank god for flip-flops and crocs, or I would have no shoes.
Mind you, I don't think dancing like a woman possessed on Saturday night, while hideously drunk has helped the issue, as they hurt like crazy on Sunday morning, which when combined with the dodgy head and stomach left me feeling like a wonderful example of health (self inflicted obviously).
I'm just wondering how rolling around in the mud on Saturday is going to bear up....
12 April 2007
In my area of the leisure centre, one of my responsibilities is to the large children’s soft play area. You know the kind of place that’s swarming with the under 10's and very tired looking mothers? That’s part of my working environment.
We have play leaders who keep an eye on the area and help the littler ones play and get up to the big slides etc, and serve food and drinks to keep mum/dad and children happy.
All in all it’s my favourite area to work in, especially when there are no new arrivals to be booked in and no cleaning to do. It means I can just do what the kids do, and play!
What can I say, I’m just a big kid at heart, and I love taking the excuse to ‘see if the slides need polishing’ or ‘if the frame needs cleaning’.
So, shoes off and I’m in the area with the children, running and climbing with the best of them (just avoiding low roofs, because it is for kids after all….). All is good, down the slide a few times and swap back with the normal staff.
One of the things that keep me the busiest at work when we’re full, is the accident book. I’m one of my workplace’s recognised first aider’s, and usually the one they call if anything major has happened. Also, with having so many areas in one building where different things happen, the staff will keep me fairly busy with accidents in the workplace (which obviously have to be documented).
We had a large children’s group in our soft play area (35 children) and the staff were stood around doing nothing. So I did what all good managers do, and arranged a game of ‘tag’. Staff were on versus the children. Eventually I got roped in as well, and being the ‘team player’ I am, I decided to pelt into the structure (avoiding the children of course). Quite happily avoiding being ‘tagged’ I was running across a rope bridge when a part of me body became stuck under a rope... 3 of my toes.
How I managed to not fill the air with expletives I do not know. More importantly, how I managed to get back down the slide was impressive….
One ice pack and an accident book later and I have at least one broken toe (self diagnosed). I don’t see the point in going and getting them checked out, as I’ve broken them before. They’ve gone a delightful shape and colour and hurt like hell. I’m just so very glad that one of the pairs of shoes I still have at home are my crocs.
Bloody children. I blame them.
09 April 2007
I now have 2 ill grandmothers, both for different reasons. One seems to want to roll over and give in, even though she isn't ill (just lonely) and the other one is still fighting cancer and won't give in.
It's worrying and frustrating. More when I get back to uni.
05 April 2007
Sadly, I'm not every employees favourite boss. Since I got back one member of staff has been fired as a result of a run in with me (I caught him smoking in a prohibited area and he'd been warned many times before) and one got sent home early today because I caught him doing something he shouldn't have been.
I guess I'm just a bit of a jobsworth when it comes to work, but I'd like to hang onto that job.
And like TP, my workplace is full of gossip too, and I hate to think what my current nickname is.
Ironically, I could quite happily quit now and stay here without heading back to uni. Although obviously I won't.