30 May 2006
I can't really type this on the home computer as I write this, as it would probably wake the parents up - but then again, I'm watching The Last Samurai on video (retro - I know) and the sound of gun shots hasn't woken them yet.
I'm currently looking around my old room at all the things I used to hold so dear - yet which now mean nothing to me.
I've unearthed my old high school and college Leaver's book and read all the comments from people whose opinion I used to choose my clothes and hairstyles by. I realise now just how insignificant it all was. People who I rarely raise a 'hello' to on MSN, yet who used to be my best friends. Am I fickle? No, with regards to high school friends I don't think I am. We had different priorities in life. My leaver's book is full of comments from people wishing me luck as a future doctor, while I remember writing comments in other people's books wishing them luck with their impending motherhood.
I've also just found an old photo album filled with pictures from my college and our end of 6th form ball. Apart from my obvious alcohol consumption I can remember little from the night. Is this because I see it as insignificant? Sadly, this is probably true. I started university with one of my best friends from college. Dissapointingly, within the space of our first year in halls, we were barely on speaking terms. We never really fell out - just drifted apart on our different courses. I don't know where she is now, and I don't run into her at university anymore. Is it a bad thing that I don't really care either?
I'm finding myself questioning whether I really am the callous, dismissive cow I think I am. Do I really deserve a best friend like Leela, who despite a physical distance of over 250 miles still gave me an earbashing for not keeping in touch?
Or am I just too independent for my own good; unable to accept help when it's offered, and destined to be lonely for the rest of my life?
I think only I really know the answer to that, and it worries me.
But then again, maybe it's the insomnia talking and the fact that it's now 1.52AM and I'm still awake. Wide awake.
28 May 2006
The reccommended tyre pressure for my rear car tyres is 26 psi. When I connected the air hose it gave a reading of between 6 and 8 psi. Good job I'd driven slowly I suppose. 20p later and the job's a good'un. After a quick drive around the local town and a little bit of shopping I came back to watch the professionals show us how it's done. What did shock me while I was out was the price of fuel. I haven't fueled my car since before christmas, and it cost me £30 to fuel my normally modest little car. On the plus side, I won't have to do it when I come back in summer and am waiting for my first summer pay check. Just hope no one decides to steal it before then!
Since coming back I've noticed that my hayfever has gone beserk. I hate oilseed rape. It's an evil evil substance and makes me sneeze and wheeze like a mad woman (hence the 'snotty' on yesterday's post title). Sadly, they grow a lot of it around my home, and it makes me feel really rough. Never mind, back to uni soon.
After still not getting a cup of tea, a full Yorkshire Sunday lunch, complete with home made Yorkshire Puddings made up for it. Not to mention the home made blackcurrant (from the orchard) crumble and custard for afters. All is good.
27 May 2006
I've been treated to lunch, had a ride around the countryside (for the parents' benefit, I was asleep), and fell asleep again when I got home.
So really, I haven't done a lot since I got back. I still haven't had my cup of tea yet, but that's next on my agenda.
I say last night, but I haven't actually been to bed yet, so I guess everything merges into one.
Sleep is for the train journey home to Yorkshire, which is what I shall be doing at 8AM.
I'm sure everything will look better after a nice cup of Yorkshire tea and a sleep in my bed at home - with no fire alarms, no noisy students and no smashing of glass.
24 May 2006
I'm on call tonight, and I would get loads of work done if I didn't have to keep telling students off every half an hour. On the plus side, I shall be returning to Yorkshire for the bank holiday weekend to escape the pungent passive cannabis I keep inhaling here, and the give my sore throat a break from raising my voice.
On the plus side, it's nearly pay day, and I have a hospital nursing shift to look forward to tomorrow. I don't know what department I'm in tomorrow (the joy of being a relief auxiliary) but I'm hoping for something other than care of the elderly, possibly something paediatric. We might be able to see if I can find my maternal instinct somewhere along the way then.
23 May 2006
22 May 2006
At least this time I had again managed to get coordinating black underwear, rather than last year's atrocity. It was fine until I remembered my spot the dog socks that were hanging off the edge of the examination couch. Oops again.
I went back to the GP last week because the pain is getting worse and the new prescription isn't helping. His decision was to double the dosulepin and send me for a full set of spinal x-rays (cervical, thoracic and lumbar), much to the protests of the radiographer that the dose was too much for me. All is fine, as I'm not pregnant. Don't think I'm glowing though.
20 May 2006
I now have £2.81 left. I can see this being a very long and lonely couple of days.
Why am I so short of money??
Well, my social life has emerged. I partied this week and went to the cinema today to see the Da Vinci Code. The verdict: Visually stunning, and almost exactly true to the book. Would reccommend.
Random thought: Is it wrong to want to procreate with an albino monk called Silas??
18 May 2006
When I was a teenager and going out to a party or 'disco', my father would invariably veto the outfit. You see, I'm a daddy's girl, and my father is a respected member of the community. It wouldn't do for me to go out dressed, well, scantily.
My father's classic expression if he felt I was showing too much cleavage (and he still uses it):
'If you're drowning them puppies love, I'll have t'one on t'left with t'pink nose'
At which point I would go and get changed.
I have to use a pourer because that's what we're licensed for. We serve in 25ml measures or multiples thereof. If you have a problem with this, then go elsewhere.
Hollywood has a lot to answer for.
In other bar related news, I made my first Black Russian tonight (after having a quick 'team meeting' to decide what was actually in it) : outcome, happy customer, bemused Merys.
17 May 2006
"What would you rather be, a puppy or a kitten?"
Dear god in heaven. These are supposed to be the top 10% of the population.
Although they did provide me with a way to blog about Puppies (for Rob)
15 May 2006
I Like Curry - the work blog of John Robertson working as a trainee ambulance technician after being a students. Beautiful writing style to say he's a scientist by nature!
Deidamia - Lauren's blog as a final year medical student. Letting me know what I (hopefully) have to look forward to.
NHS Blog Doc - The unstoppable Dr Crippen. Need I say more!
The Hippocratic Oaf - Medical student at Oxford, showing me how much I will probably hate it when I get there.
Walking the Streets - The wonderful Bill Stickers who is still keeping motorists in line. I smile every time I read his blog.
Restaurant Girl - Because I've been there. I used to love being a waitress, despite the hard work and the rude customers.
14 May 2006
I have a sore throat and am feeling miserable (no surprise there then).
I'd been sulking around all day until I found an open packet of supermarket's own Honey and Lemon Throat Lozenges.
Now when I ate the first one it was a bit soggy - but I thought nowt of it. It helped a bit.
So I spent all night not really paying any attention to them, but eating them nevertheless.
If you look very carefully at the picture on the left you will see a clump of lozenges and some small brown spots. These spots are dead pharoah ants which commonly inhabit halls of residence.
They also commonly inhabit throat lozenges, and now my GI tract.
I really need to pay attention to what I put in my mouth (rude jokes aside), but I reckon the Atkins Diet would allow it - after all, it's just a little extra protein!
13 May 2006
This is a link to a site which I was left in the comments section of my previous animal testing post.
It has some interesting views. Some which are valid, and some which I strongly disagree with. To quote:
I don't really feel the need to add my two'penneth into this one. My views are clear and stand from the previous post. Thank you to Anonymous for pointing this out to me, but you are unlikely to alter my opinions. As part of the vivisection part of my education, I had to write an essay for both sides of the argument. I scored good marks for it. It was clear and balanced and showed opinions for and against vivisection.
"The useless, ingrained animal abuse of these wasteful experiments done by perverted, potentially mentally ill scientists worldwide is more absurd than anything I can think of. Yes, that includes digging up a grandmother’s dead body."
Unfortunately, without drugs as they are today, we would not be living as long as we currently are. People would be dying earlier of diseases that can be cured or managed. Diseases like asthma and diabetes.
As someone who takes prescription medications, I know how painful life is without them. I live a happier life courtesy of useful drugs, and while I appreciate that animals have died so that I can be (almost) pain free, I will not be ashamed because of it.
12 May 2006
So I felt it was time to ask you guys (the few) what you think I should blog about.
Free choice, seriously.
11 May 2006
Now, I'm not a doctor - but I do know I'm not depressed. Occasionally stressed and frequently pissed off, but I wouldn't say I have depression.
Needless to say I refused the prescription. I like my life and I don't want to take mood altering medications. Especially when I only went to the GP for back pains.
My problem lies with communication. I get upset because I feel ignored. This has been going on for 4 years and I've had a barrage of investigations; x-rays, blood tests, physiotherapy, hydrotherapy, rheumatology appointments. All have come back negative, so no-one seems especially bothered - except me. I'm bothered. I'm grumpy when I'm in pain, and I get upset. So sue me. After a bit of a poke and a prod (which hurt) it was decided that I could be referred to either acupunture or remedial massage (but not both). Interestingly, my GP told me over 12 months ago that she would refer me to acupuncture and osteopathy. When I queried this yesterday, I'd never been referred. Great - just great.
So, given my current track record, either I won't have been referred at all, or the appointment will come through when I move to my next university.
10 May 2006
Decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to take some painkillers and hit the sack.
Except, my mind had other ideas.
I couldn't get comfortable, my shoulders, lower back and feet hurt, and my brain just wouldn't switch off.
Which would normally be fine - except for the last two days I've been up at 5.50AM having had little sleep. And this happened last night too. After parting company on Skype, I browsed the net till 12, then went to bed.
Where I lay staring at the inside of my eyelids until 3AM, feeling sick and trying to get comfortable.
Yay for 'under 3 hours sleep!'
Looks like it's going to be another one of those nights.
The body is very willing, but the mind, well, you know..
09 May 2006
08 May 2006
This particular patient is very sick, and even my limited knowledge can recognise this. Is it selfish to hope that nothing bad happens while I'm there?
Anyway, I need to put some socks on and leg it out of the door.
* It might as well be. In reality its about 20 miles on public transport.
** Bugger. Service user! Must recite mantra more.
07 May 2006
Much to the amusement of my companion, I hid behind my hands for quite a bit of the film. I was watching, honest, just from behind my fingertips (it seems less scary that way!).
Horror films are weird for me. I'm fine with slasher movies where a person kills other people, but introduce ghosts, aliens and demons, and we have me taking a keen interest in the floor!
Silent Hill had the potential to give me bad nightmares, kind of like 28 Days Later did. Happily, the film was good, I was forced to actually watch it, and I didn't have nightmares. Reccommended to all, unless you don't like gore. It's a bit nasty at the end.........
04 May 2006
The only thing I really like about sunny, warm weather is the excuse to a) wear sunglasses and b) look good in them. So I did. I shouldn't have bothered taking a coat out with me, because I ended up carrying it all the way there and back.
I'd even had enough forethought to take my camera with me, and managed to get some beautiful shots of the trees in blossomm and some lovely old buildings in the sunlight.
Unfortunately, it has been rather windy here today. But not in an unpleasant way. Without the wind it would have been truly unbearably warm, but the wind just complicated things slightly. I'd washed my hair before leaving the house, but hadn't dried it properly. The wind took hold of it and made it into an untangleable mass of waves and tousles that I'm not brave enough to comb. Still, it has volume for a change!
I've had yet another dozey moment today. I decided to pop somewhere via the local trains, and managed to get on the wrong train for the wrong destination, and only realise this when the first stop wasn't mine. It was in completely the wrong direction. Ooops! I did feel a bit of a tit getting on the first train in the opposite direction, but I think the sunglasses helped pull it off....
(The title?... if you don't get it, I'm not explaining)
03 May 2006
Personally three arguments while laying in bed is much more fun. Because I simply love being woken up by the telephone to start with, never mind having to wake up fast enough to defend myself.
Apparently I'm not devoting myself enough to my dissertation. From people who don't live here, and who have no idea what I'm doing.
02 May 2006
- Customers in the bar who say 'thank you' when I glass collect from their table.
- The satisfied feeling of having been to the gym and getting a shower afterwards.
- Cheap public transport. How else could I get from university to the other side of town for 60p return?!
- My colleagues in the bar. We support each other and can have a laugh while working hard. How I'm going to miss them when I leave.
- Being a volunteer with the elderly. It's a really nice feeling to do something worthwhile and not get paid.
- Customers in the bar who pick fights with the staff. You won't win, I promise.
- The tall, toned, tanned beautiful women who strut naked around the changing rooms. Put some clothes on for goodness sake.